Behind the scenes # 5 - Bond James Bond

Is there a better way to end an evening than watching a James Bond classic? 

Die Another Day — already 23 years old, but timeless. What a great movie! Calling Madonna's soundtrack, which shares the same title, a personal inspirational banger would be an understatement. Alongside Tupac and 50 Cent, it easily earned a spot in my workout playlist.

Is it too dark — or just way too early — to add it to my final (funeral) playlist? I mean, personally, I've never really been a fan of André Hazes.

However, in the opening scenes, James Bond — played by my favorite Bond, Pierce Brosnan — gets caught up with torture scenes in the North Korean prison camp. Those scenes personally remind me a lot of my high-school days — detention room 130. Waterboarding? I wish. My wrist still hurts from all that writing — thanks, Mr. van Vliet.

Anyway, I'm curious — when's the next Bond movie coming out? Are they already casting? My inbox is full of unread spam, let me double-check for an invite. Can I send something on tape? It took me a while to find my old musical footage, but at least my English has improved since then. 

I'm not sure how many women would agree my face is as sexy as Daniel's, but statistically speaking, I'm 9 cm taller than Daniel Craig — that has to count for something, right? Six-pack-wise, I'm slightly behind schedule, though. But come on, those guys get full training camps for those roles, right?

Luxury tailored suits and expensive watches. Well, the last time I bought a suit, it was from the Finnish equivalent of the C&A. I may be in a different price range. Perhaps to my advantage, those blockbuster budgets have to cut back on budget these days. My favorite drink is also a lot cheaper >> Somersby Blackberry vs. a Vodka Martini. Not stirred? Shaken? Don't make it so difficult, just a cold one is fine!

Weapons & Gadgets? I already struggle to change the date on my watch, let alone fire lasers with it. I've practiced at a few shooting ranges, and "natural talent" was never mentioned by the instructor. “Careful, you're shooting at the roof,” was painfully mentioned. But of course it's easier with a golden gun!

Driving luxurious high-performance cars while being chased? I don't know. Yesterday I was just sitting in the backseat, and one glance at my phone was enough to make me seasick. Let alone dodging bullets at high speed.

Aside from the differences, there are also similarities. Daniel Craig and I have both been to a casino in Macau! And of course, one of the most essential Bond ingredients is the art of seduction — and knowing when not to be seduced. Coincidentally, I went out last Saturday, and I can confirm the woman didn't even dare to seduce me…

 Of course, like Bond, I do have my own "M" — the one person I always have to listen to: Grandma Jannie. Who always preferred driving with me as long as we stayed within the speed limit.

And finally, for any potential directors still deciding, my last and most definite advantage: Real combat training! Over 13 years of experience in different martial arts. Compare that to Pierce Brosnan's hobby… gardening. How can you be James Bond — and enjoy gardening in your spare time? That's like Vin Diesel strictly obeying traffic rules.